emotional excesses of a nobody
be forewarned: emotional baggages and senseless sentiments set loose . . .
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, February 07, 2008
You and You
You. I’ve been patient for a long time. Have given you everything you’ve needed. Provided you with things you should have been providing for me and yourself. The least you can do now is exert a little effort to make me feel important. Be the person you need to be. Don’t depend on me all the time because I can only give and take so much. I’m nearing boiling point. Don’t wait for me to say I’ve had enough.
You, the person who thinks you’re greater than everybody else but crumbles at the littlest criticism thrown your way. You can never fool me with your faux confidence. I know you inside out. You’re a thoroughly insecure person who subjects yourself to ultra-weird and totally OC habits just so you can accept yourself and like the way you look. You always have this need to outdo others but you’re not always successful. You know why you bailed out. You couldn’t take the challenge. Just wasn’t good enough. Now you save face by running away and making people believe that you’re better off where you are now. Go on. Fool yourself. That’s the least you could do.
Never ask me for favors again. You are not my friend.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Happy . . . for Now

I don’t know if it’s just because Christmas is around the corner, but I’ve been receiving lots of blessings lately. They’re not all in cash or in kind, but they’re enough to get me through a lousy day at work.
I guess I can say that I finally got the pat in the back that I’ve been waiting for. To know that you’ve done the right thing and to be acknowledged for doing what you’re expected to do simply brings ultimate satisfaction. I admit, I do need to have my ego trips once in a while. Just like any normal individual, I, too, need to have my ego fattened occasionally. And I guess the months of November and December is simply my season of ego fattening. Yay.
I guess somehow my hard work has paid off. Although I didn’t really aim for the stars and just did what I deemed I was supposed to do, the effort was recognized and was rewarded. And the praises, “prizes”, and ehem.. special favors are enough to make me happy, at least for now.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Pining . . .



Of course, it’s doubly harder to reunite with my high school friends since we all seemed to have completely forgotten to keep in touch with each other. My best friend Raine who lives several blocks away from our house seems too preoccupied lately with her boyfriend and with figuring out what to do with her life that we never get to see each other. We just content ourselves with occasional exchange of text messages. Then there’s one of my closest friends in high school, Aziza, who seemed to have totally lost interest in her high school friends. After seven years, you ask her how she is and she’d give you a one-word reply. She won’t even bother asking how you are. You greet her on Christmas and she’d just say “thanks.” You won’t even get a Christmas greeting back. Of course there’s Arra, my mother and my angel. Since she works in a call center and lives in the far end of Makati, the chances of going out for dinner is impossible, which is utterly frustrating for me.
I miss living with my college housemates—Mabs and Anna. I miss our usual night walks from Uste to our apartment where we ponder on what we’re going to cook for dinner. I miss our grocery trips in SM Manila where we compromise on what to buy for our lunch and dinner for a month (we don’t usually eat breakfast. By the time we get up it’s already lunch time, especially me). I miss the dishes we used to cook and eat—cheese omelet, Argentina beef loaf, daing with soup, ginisang sitaw at kalabasa with ground pork, monggo . . . I miss our sleepless nights with AC (ang makulit na kapitbahay kahit medyo malayo ang bahay nya) and heaps of paperwork and mass of chi-cha—corn bits w/ suka, cloud 9 bars, flat tops, all sorts of chichiria from Kuya’s store, and of course an overflow of Coke and coffee to keep us awake. I miss our fun sleepless nights with San Mig Light, Red Horse, Jose Cuervo, Pizza Hut, and Yellow Cab. (I remember how my mom and dad reacted when they saw the pile of beer bottles in our laundry area when we were cleaning up the place before we left. It turns out us seemingly nice girls are naughty after all . . . *wink*)
I miss getting drunk and discussing my love problems with my girls. I miss our little “photo shoots” with Mhaqui. I miss arguing with them over who’s cuter among the Starstruck contestants. I miss gushing with them over sappy telenovelas like Mulawin every night.
Sigh . . . I got it bad. I miss my friends.
****sort of good news: finally got the paper stating my salary appraisal--effective next payday :D
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Doomsday

As if the people and the country haven’t had enough of all the political hullabaloo plaguing the country—ZTE scandal, bribery in Malacañang—the great madam president gave another blow of her selfish and naturally unwise decisions: granting Erap pardon and restoring his rights. Obviously, the pressures in the palace was too much to bear for the great president that she decided to appease the restless supporters of Erap and give the former president executive clemency, just to get rid of one boulder off her shoulder. With just one whip, the president had flushed down the drain all the efforts and millions of money spent on Erap’s trial and security alone. Where is justice then?
We spent six years waiting to see the former president, who stole millions of money we worked hard for, behind bars. But not long after he was declared guilty, the great president sends him running off with his loot intact. Talk about lip service. It’s like everything was just a big bad joke. And the Filipino people are expected or even required to forget all about it. Wtf?!
With this turnout of events, I only come to digest the truth that I’ve been denying myself for so long: there’s no hope for the Philippines. As melodramatic and exaggerated as it may sound, it is true, unless people in politics start cleaning up their acts, which is highly impossible. We are in deep and serious political hell hole, and only a great miracle can turn the country over, clean up all its mess, and deodorize its foul stench. Doomsday has come. Pack your bags and move as far away from this country as possible.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Urban Legend Letters








