emotional excesses of a nobody

Club Paradise, Coron Review

2010-04-19T23:56:00.000-07:00

Want to know what the real deal is on Club Paradise Beach Resort in Coron, Palawan? Check out our review! You can also check out our gallery of the place here.

You and You

2008-02-07T21:32:00.000-08:00

This is just not my day. Allow me to vent my irritation out of my system.

You. I’ve been patient for a long time. Have given you everything you’ve needed. Provided you with things you should have been providing for me and yourself. The least you can do now is exert a little effort to make me feel important. Be the person you need to be. Don’t depend on me all the time because I can only give and take so much. I’m nearing boiling point. Don’t wait for me to say I’ve had enough.

You, the person who thinks you’re greater than everybody else but crumbles at the littlest criticism thrown your way. You can never fool me with your faux confidence. I know you inside out. You’re a thoroughly insecure person who subjects yourself to ultra-weird and totally OC habits just so you can accept yourself and like the way you look. You always have this need to outdo others but you’re not always successful. You know why you bailed out. You couldn’t take the challenge. Just wasn’t good enough. Now you save face by running away and making people believe that you’re better off where you are now. Go on. Fool yourself. That’s the least you could do.

Never ask me for favors again. You are not my friend.

Happy . . . for Now

2007-12-02T22:44:00.000-08:00

I don’t know if it’s just because Christmas is around the corner, but I’ve been receiving lots of blessings lately. They’re not all in cash or in kind, but they’re enough to get me through a lousy day at work.

I guess I can say that I finally got the pat in the back that I’ve been waiting for. To know that you’ve done the right thing and to be acknowledged for doing what you’re expected to do simply brings ultimate satisfaction. I admit, I do need to have my ego trips once in a while. Just like any normal individual, I, too, need to have my ego fattened occasionally. And I guess the months of November and December is simply my season of ego fattening. Yay.

I guess somehow my hard work has paid off. Although I didn’t really aim for the stars and just did what I deemed I was supposed to do, the effort was recognized and was rewarded. And the praises, “prizes”, and ehem.. special favors are enough to make me happy, at least for now.

Join Yuyu

2007-11-14T22:14:00.001-08:00

Here's our cutie pom spitz doggie. He's turning 2 yrs. old on Dec. 8. Join him on Petster.com! :D

Pining . . .

2007-11-13T23:05:00.000-08:00

I miss my friends. The downside of having a boyfriend is you don’t get to go out with your friends that often—at least in my case. Quite sadly, every one of my college barkada is hooked (two of which are both married and have families of their own), which makes it harder for us to easily set a date to just have an all-girls escapade.

Of course, it’s doubly harder to reunite with my high school friends since we all seemed to have completely forgotten to keep in touch with each other. My best friend Raine who lives several blocks away from our house seems too preoccupied lately with her boyfriend and with figuring out what to do with her life that we never get to see each other. We just content ourselves with occasional exchange of text messages. Then there’s one of my closest friends in high school, Aziza, who seemed to have totally lost interest in her high school friends. After seven years, you ask her how she is and she’d give you a one-word reply. She won’t even bother asking how you are. You greet her on Christmas and she’d just say “thanks.” You won’t even get a Christmas greeting back. Of course there’s Arra, my mother and my angel. Since she works in a call center and lives in the far end of Makati, the chances of going out for dinner is impossible, which is utterly frustrating for me.

I miss living with my college housemates—Mabs and Anna. I miss our usual night walks from Uste to our apartment where we ponder on what we’re going to cook for dinner. I miss our grocery trips in SM Manila where we compromise on what to buy for our lunch and dinner for a month (we don’t usually eat breakfast. By the time we get up it’s already lunch time, especially me). I miss the dishes we used to cook and eat—cheese omelet, Argentina beef loaf, daing with soup, ginisang sitaw at kalabasa with ground pork, monggo . . . I miss our sleepless nights with AC (ang makulit na kapitbahay kahit medyo malayo ang bahay nya) and heaps of paperwork and mass of chi-cha—corn bits w/ suka, cloud 9 bars, flat tops, all sorts of chichiria from Kuya’s store, and of course an overflow of Coke and coffee to keep us awake. I miss our fun sleepless nights with San Mig Light, Red Horse, Jose Cuervo, Pizza Hut, and Yellow Cab. (I remember how my mom and dad reacted when they saw the pile of beer bottles in our laundry area when we were cleaning up the place before we left. It turns out us seemingly nice girls are naughty after all . . . *wink*)

I miss getting drunk and discussing my love problems with my girls. I miss our little “photo shoots” with Mhaqui. I miss arguing with them over who’s cuter among the Starstruck contestants. I miss gushing with them over sappy telenovelas like Mulawin every night.

Sigh . . . I got it bad. I miss my friends.

****sort of good news: finally got the paper stating my salary appraisal--effective next payday :D

Doomsday

2007-10-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

Better pack your bags and leave the country. As impossible (impossible because who would’ve thought that the country is still capable of sinking even lower), as it may sound, the country has gone to the lowest of lows, the filthiest of filths, and the utmost injustice of millions of injustices. Erap is a free man. He is once again free to brainstorm with his alipores on how to fool the country and steal millions of money and then get away with it. Why? Because the great madam president has granted pardon to the convicted felon even before he was jailed. Very, very smart.

As if the people and the country haven’t had enough of all the political hullabaloo plaguing the country—ZTE scandal, bribery in Malacañang—the great madam president gave another blow of her selfish and naturally unwise decisions: granting Erap pardon and restoring his rights. Obviously, the pressures in the palace was too much to bear for the great president that she decided to appease the restless supporters of Erap and give the former president executive clemency, just to get rid of one boulder off her shoulder. With just one whip, the president had flushed down the drain all the efforts and millions of money spent on Erap’s trial and security alone. Where is justice then?

We spent six years waiting to see the former president, who stole millions of money we worked hard for, behind bars. But not long after he was declared guilty, the great president sends him running off with his loot intact. Talk about lip service. It’s like everything was just a big bad joke. And the Filipino people are expected or even required to forget all about it. Wtf?!

With this turnout of events, I only come to digest the truth that I’ve been denying myself for so long: there’s no hope for the Philippines. As melodramatic and exaggerated as it may sound, it is true, unless people in politics start cleaning up their acts, which is highly impossible. We are in deep and serious political hell hole, and only a great miracle can turn the country over, clean up all its mess, and deodorize its foul stench. Doomsday has come. Pack your bags and move as far away from this country as possible.

Urban Legend Letters

2007-10-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

Look what I came across while searching for a child’s letter (yes, I was too lazy to improvise a child’s letter for the activity in my mag).

Could they be real? Read the scoop. http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/sailors.asp

Losing Interest

2007-10-15T02:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.deviantart.com/

I don’t know if it’s because it’s the start of the week, but I’m feeling less and less interested in my work lately. I can hardly bring myself to work nowadays. In fact I was planning to absent myself today (weekend hangover) if it were not for our scheduled editorial planning, which was postponed anyway. If the last couple of months sped by me unnoticed because there were lots of things I attended to, now each day drags endlessly as I wait for the calendar to say it’s already November 27.
Yes, that magical date is one of the very few reasons why I still drag myself to work every morning and crack my brains to churn out a number of articles in a day. Nov 27 is my long-awaited anniversary in the company. I’m anticipating the day not because I’m happy to know that I get to finally say that I’m a true-blue DIWA editor (although maybe I am—just a teeny bit), but because I get to have a raise again (yes, it’s just a money issue). Although I’m not complaining that I struggle to keep myself awake every day for the past few weeks since I don’t have a lot of work to do lately (I just finished a school year’s worth of issues of my two magazines), I am really bored. And I am tired of writing the stuff I write.
Yes, I am whining again, because it’s the only thing that I do best. Fortunately, I have to cut this short because there are four Teacher’s Guides waiting to be edited by me. So gotta go! Till next whining time!

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?

2007-10-10T22:27:00.001-07:00

adelynne, you are Ginny Weasley

You rarely need Polyjuice potion because you're usually happy just being you! While you might not make the biggest splash or cause drama, you slowly and steadily win over lots of people who think you're pretty darn wonderful. While you can be a little shy and self-conscious at times (especially around a crush), you're probably considered to be a BFF by more than just one person. Luckily, your talents aren't just the magic kind. You're also kind and smart and just great to be around. Looks like you'll have a very charmed life indeed!

2 Years, 6 Months, 0 Days

2007-10-10T01:16:00.000-07:00

glitter-graphics.com

It’s our monthsary! :) Who could actually believe that I’ve so far managed to be in a 2-year, 6-month relationship? I, the indifferent, very idealist, and the person with the faux I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-love attitude, could actually be in a serious relationship? Well, I am. So screw you people who don’t believe it. Hehe.

The count is official. Today my boyfriend and I turn a month older. We’re halfway to three years, and we’re still counting. I admit, it was not easy coming this far, what with my immature and über-brat personality and our slight differences. But I guess the expression is true: if the shoe fits, it fits. No questions asked.

I think, when I get to have grandchildren in the future and they ask me about our ‘love story,’ I’d be proud to share it. No kidding, our story is actually one of those that you can turn into a romance film. He’s 11 years older (sshh . . . it’s a secret), I get to meet him during my OJT, he’s in a 2-year relationship, I like someone else, we get close, his gf breaks up with him because of another guy, we get closer, we get into this pseudo-relationship (translation: what are we supposed to be: friends, more than friends, nothing?), we play the stupid game for a year, and then things FINALLY fall into place. Some kind of story, huh? Things are actually a lot more complicated than that, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with details. Hehehe.

So here we are, sticking and fighting for countless years more. Although the whole two years was not pure bliss, I can say that I am happy and content, and I could not ask for more (just like what my Friendster profile says. Haha!). He has taught me a lot of things along the way, both mababaw and malalim (I’m so coño, aren’t I?), and here are just three of them:

1. He taught me how to eat shawarma. I’ve never eaten shawarma and I never intended to before I met him. But when he brought me to Lagro and bought me this huge shawarma and insisted that I try it, it got me hooked. Since then, I tried every shawarma store I came across, but nothing beat the shawarma from Lagro. Just the thought of it makes me hungry. You should try it sometime. It’s located inside the Lagro subdivision in QC. When I think about it, he taught me to eat various kinds of food such as calderetang kambing, calamari from the sidewalk, seafood (I’m not fond of eating seafood before) and many more.

2. He taught me how to eat with an appetite of a man. Yup, he’s the one to blame for my figure now. We eat together for two years and a half and I inherit his appetite. Very responsible boyfriend, don’t you think? Hehehe.

3. He taught me how to give. Because he takes and takes! Haha. Seriously, he allowed me to discover how much of myself I can give into a relationship. I, who don’t easily share a piece of myself to anyone, learned to take a risk and give everything I could, only to gain back a lot more. And I couldn’t be happier for it. :)

***************************************************************************************
My mushy side:
Only a month (as of the official count, at least) into our relationship, I wrote these two Friendster testimonials for him on his b-day:

Testi 1:
Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to smile for no reason. Ngayon, lagi akong mukhang baliw dahil sayo! Nyehehe!

Testi 2:
I never thought anything could come close to being perfect. But since you came into my life, I have thought otherwise. :)

For those allergic to anything mushy, go now and grab a barf bag. :)

I Object

2007-10-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

Oh well . . . :D

adelynne, you're a Total Brat
Whoa. We'd tell you to stop being such a brat, but that might only encourage you. An all-around expert in areas of laying on guilt, whining, and much more, you'll try almost anything if it means people will pay attention to you and give you what you want.Sure, being a brat can be totally fun. But don't expect that people will always respond to manipulation and, sometimes, exploitation. What you may not remember is that the easiest way to get what you want is usually to just ask for it. No whining!

**tickle.com

What Are You Afraid Of?

2007-10-05T01:52:00.000-07:00

i knew it . . .

adelynne, you are most afraid of not being good enough

Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about how others perceive you than many people around you? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about doing things perfectly or feel afraid that others will mock you in some way? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of not being good enough. It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of not being good enough may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by being more diligent in pursuing your goals than others. However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check.

**from tickle.com

10 Things You May Not Know about Me

2007-10-04T01:54:00.001-07:00

Everywhere I go, I’m always branded by people as the “shy girl” or suplada, and I actually don’t know which description I preferred more. Haha. Well, I can’t blame other people, I guess, because I don’t know anyone who can be more indifferent than me.
But here is a list of things that a lot of people don’t know about me, according to me. :D Take a peek . . .

1. I AM LOUD . . . when I’m with my friends. People who really, truly know me know that my “mahinhin” façade is just that—a façade. It’s not like I’m portraying myself as another person when it comes to other people. I’m just not the type who easily opens up. When I’m with my friends, I lose almost all of my inhibitions, and my loud personality comes out. Ask my friends and they’ll describe me as boisterous, cheerful, “madaldal”, etc. Doesn’t look like it, huh?

2. I can sing. In fact, I’m the best singer in my family. Nyahaha! And it’s not to say that everybody else in my family can’t sing a tune. In fact, we are all pretty good singers. I’m just the best. Haha! I’m not making this up. Ask them and they’ll agree. I promise. :D

3. I play the guitar. Well, I guess the correct phrase is “know how to play”, because I haven’t played since my college days. I guess I just lost the habit of buying song hits and playing songs. But I do intend to bring the habit back. Sayang naman gitara ko. ^-^

4. I was the class valedictorian in my elementary. This was ages ago, the time when I still enjoyed burying my head in books.

5. I was the editor in chief of our high school paper. Yup, I was the clueless editor in chief of The Consolinian (official school publication of La Consolacion Pasig) during the school year 2000-2001.
6. I love to drink. Shocker?? Well, at parties, I’m the one who always asks for the liquor. And I’m usually the last person to get drunk. Or at least I pretend to be. :D
7. I love videoke. My family loves videoke. My sister and I especially love singing old “sawi” songs such as “Love Will Lead You Back,” “Alone” and “I Want to Know What Love Is.” We try to hog the microphone all to ourselves whenever such songs are played.
8. I eat A LOT. It may look like I hate food, but I LOVE FOOD! Our earnings (my boyriend’s and mine) are usually spent on food. We have a nasty habit of trying out on a whim new restos with delicious-looking food. The best we’ve tried so far are Bubba Gump, Italiannis, Krocodile Grillery, Seafood Club, and Gerry’s Grill (because of their scallops!). But right now we’re both trying to watch our weight and eat healthy because we go to the gym twice a week. Sacrifice, sacrifice. ^-^
9. I’m a crybaby. I guess it’s actually obvious that I’m tear jerky.
10. I’m narcissistic. I obsess about myself and what others think of me. Hell, why do you think I started this blog in the first place? *evil laugh*

My New Every Day

2007-10-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

Congratulate me! I’m a Chowking waitress (?) today. Nah. I just look like one because of my uniform.
Since Monday I’ve been wearing the official company uniform. If you didn’t know me but saw me since Monday wearing the different ultra-creative designs of our new uniforms, you probably thought I had different professions for each day. Why?

Monday

outfit: sparkling maroon collared blouse with super looooong ribbon around the waist paired with dark blue super short skirt with two pleats in front
worn with: new shiny leather black shoes with 2, 2 ½ or possibly 3 inches high heels
profession: sales lady

**note: can you believe that that evening, a perv guy I do not know actually whispered to me “ang ganda ng legs mo” while he walked past me? tsk. tsk. all because of the frigging short skirt.

Tuesday

outfit: oversized (for my taste only) blue collared blouse with dark blue pants
worn with: super old (by the way it looks, at least) white shoes
profession: teacher

**note: I looked like my teachers from my high school alma mater – La Consolacion-Pasig

Today
outfit: blinding pink Chinese-collared blah blouse paired with super-tight-at-the-waist gray pants
worn with: Ivory satin shoes by Charles and Keith
profession: Chowking crew

Tomorrow, I’ll be wearing the totally green version (read: sparkling moss green on the collar and ribbon) of the uniform I wore last Monday. So I guess I’ll be a sales lady again. :D

*** To everyone concerned, I do love the thought of having a uniform. It somehow makes me feel corporate and gives me the sense of permanence. I just wish every uniform was a perfect fit on me. The style, I could tolerate. But the fit? Go find another supplier. :)

Effing Day

2007-09-20T19:22:00.000-07:00

Fucker. It’s just the start of my day and I’m already having an effing day. This is the damned day that everybody else gets their performance bonus, except me and few other unfortunate souls. I’ve come to accept the fact that I cannot hope now for anything, even a shower of coins to assure me that I’ve performed my job well, but it’s doubly effing hard to not help but think that I’m a worthless piece of sh*t in this company, especially if my office mates keep on yakking about their big bonuses when they’re very well aware that I didn’t get any . . . (God bless them).

As if that’s not enough, I received an e-mail from my writer saying that she’s no longer willing to write for my magazine, coz she doesn’t feel she’s effective at all. She says, “No offense to you. You’ve been very good to me.” And she cites her busy sked (she writes for our other magazines as well) as another reason why she no longer wants to write for MY magazine. Though her letter was nicely and courteously written, of course I cannot help but think, “What the hell’s wrong with me and my magazine?” Why was my magazine singled out as the one she doesn’t want to write for anymore? Even if she coated the e-mail with sweet words, my über insecure and paranoid self can’t help but think her “resigning” was because of me. :(

God, I effing hate this stupid day. Screw my effed-up life.

Hopeless Cause

2007-09-18T22:33:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought I’d finally get the pat in the back that I’ve been waiting for for slaving at work for almost a year, I hear this effing news: YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED IN THE EMPLOYEES’ PERFORMANCE BONUS.

The hell why? Merely because I did not come in six months earlier in the company. Apparently, only employees who’ve had two appraisals since July 2006 to June 2007 can receive their fruits of labor. Obviously, I am not qualified because I became an employee of the company on November of last year only.

I thought after meeting endless deadlines, spent unpaid hours hunched in front of my computer, typing endless articles away, I’d finally reap what I DESERVE to reap. But no, the almost-a-year of utter labor to the nth degree is nothing, as far as management is concerned. Seems like I’ve contributed NOTHING to the company after all these months.

Now I’ve got nothing to do (aside from sourgraping) but wait for my anniversary in this so-called company. Hopefully by then I’d get to enjoy the benefits I’m supposed to be enjoying as a regular employee like having paid vacations, for instance. I so swear that I’ll take a one-week leave on January. If they don’t approve of it, then I’m out of here.

Wishes and Sighs

2007-09-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

I wish . . .

. . . I enjoyed this job tremendously, enough to get me up in the wee hours of the mornings, in the midst of my peaceful slumber.
. . . I was more outgoing, enough to gain me a multitude of friends and acquaintances that are more than enough to fill the seats in the funeral home and the church when I pass away.
. . . I was a better friend to all my friends and a better daughter to my parents.
. . . I was more secure with myself, enough to prevent me from constantly comparing myself to others and trying to be better than everyone else.
. . . I had billions and billions of money, more than enough to give me false comfort and warmth during lonely and sunken times like this.
. . . I had learned to make a fool of myself earlier in life, enough to gain and lost me special loves in my life earlier on.
. . . I was braver, enough to make me take chances and not fear getting hurt
. . . I was still happy, right this minute . . .
. . . I still mattered, just like before . . .

senti mode..

2005-03-29T22:05:00.001-08:00

If it's not what you're made of, you're not what I'm looking for. You were willing, but unable, to give me anymore. You know that you're changing, cause some things will just never be mine. You're not in love this time ... but it's alright.

Because of you, in gardens of blossoming flowers I ache from theperfumes of spring. I have forgotten your face, I no longer remember your hands;how did your lips feel on mine? Because of you, I love the white statues drowsing in the parks, the white statues that have neither voice nor sight. I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice; I have forgotten your eyes. Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to my vague memory ofyou. I live with pain that is like a wound; if you touch me, you willdo me irreparable harm. Your caresses enfold me, like climbing vines on melancholy walls. I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to glimpse you in everywindow. Because of you, the heady perfumes of summer pain me; becauseof you, I again seek out the signs that precipitate desires: shootingstars, falling objects. --Pablo Neruda

~ B e t w e e n ~
Between your ears-
is where your fantasy lies
Between your eyes-
is where your soul divides
Between your lips-
is where the truth hides
Between your arms-
is where a love could reside
Between me and you-
there's nothing.
© R.Lore

*sigh.. people and things can just get so confusing sometimes.. :(